I can't give it up
by KathiMoe
Summary: Hermione Granger is a Death Eater and Draco Malfoy in Dumbledore's Army. What happened when they start to have feelings for each other? I can't give it up. To someone else's touch, because I care too much. Could you tell, I was left lost and lonely. Could you tell, things ain't worked out my way?
1. Don't give up!

_I can't give it up..._

Not right now, not right here, not at this time. I could feel the grass beneath my feet. I was running barefoot, I haven't had any time to put my shoes on. I heard my chaser come much closer. "Don't give up!", I said to myself. "Don't give up!" I was running for my life. If they get me, they would kill me. I tripped into a hole and fell. "Come out there Granger! I can see you!", I heard someone scream. "Never", I hissed. "I'll wait! I'll wait until you come out of this hole!" "Then wait! I've time!" "You know that I could kill you right here, right now..." Suddenly I recognized his voice, it was Potter and he was alone. "We both know that you couldn't!", I said with a smirk. I could hear him snoring. "Shut up Granger and face me!" "If you like...", I said and stood up slowly. I climbed out of the hole and looked at him. "Hello Harry", I smiled at him. He pointed his wand at me. "Since when do you call me Harry and not Potter?" "I've always called you Harry...earlier, remember?", I said and tried to look sad. "Oh shut up", he said and stared at me angrily. As I saw the pain in his eyes, I had to laugh. "What happened to you?", he asked. My eyes narrowed to slits. "I changed, you should try it too sometimes!" "Never!" "Then you have to die!" I pulled out my wand and was ready to curse him. "You wouldn't do that!" He tried to sound confident but his voice trembled. A huge grin crossed my face. "You know I would, but I think he want you alive." He looked around, startled. "No need to be afraid, he's not here at the moment!" He led out a big sigh. "I've to go now!" "You'll go nowhere.", he growled. "Do you really think you could tell me what to do?" And with that I disappeared right in front of him.

"I'm back!", I shouted when I arrived at Malfoy Manor. "_Where have you been? Have you seen Potter?_", someone hissed at me. "I had to go underground for a while", I said calmly. "And yes I've seen Potter, just a minute ago!" "_And where is he now? Have you take him with you?_" "No..." I bit my lip, I was scared. Not much, but it was there. "_Why not_?" "I'm sorry, but he was about to curse me." "You know he couldn't do it. You were his friend, all these years." Bellatrix emerged from the shadows. "Not to forget that this ginger boy was in love with you!" She laughed. I had to smirk. "I think he still does!", I said. "Back to the topic. You just disappeared in front of Potter?", Bellatrix asked. "Yes and I'm really sorry. Next time I see him, I'll bring him to you", I said and turned to him. "_Gooooooood_!", he hissed. "What about Malfoy? Will he come back to us?", I asked. Draco Malfoy decided to go to the good site. I don't know why, maybe because I turned my back on Harry and became a Death Eater. "Once a death eater, always a death eater!", Bellatrix said with a big grin. I had to smile a bit. I liked Draco, he was simply nice. I've always admired him, because he joined Lord Voldemort. He was a 'bad boy' and I've to admit that I have a thing for bad boys. I'm a bad boy (wait, girl) myself! I sat down at the big table and looked over to Voldemort. "What are we going to do now?", I asked. "_I've an Idea_", he whispered. "That would be..?" "_You change to the good side and spy a little bit._" "And what should I tell them? Why did I suddenly changed?" "_You can say that you stood under the Imperius curse!_" I looked at him doubtfully. "I'm not sure if it will work..." "_Oh trust me, it will!_" "If you say so. When am I going to start?" He thought for a moment. "_Next week!_" I nodded and walked away.

I went into my room and sat on my bed. Would Potter and Weasley really believe I stood under a curse? I don't think so, but I had to try it. I've to find something out, what are they planning. "I dunno, I just don't know!", I hissed at myself. I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror. My skin was pale, my eyes were bigger and my hair bushier than I thought. I didn't look bad, but I looked unhealthy. I pushed my sleeves up and looked at my Dark Mark. It stands out clearly, I like it. It gives me the feeling of power and control over everyone else. When I went to school I only was the mud-blood know-it-all granger, but that changed. Actually I would've been in my 6th year right now, but I decided to fight in this war. Maybe I'm going back in a year, if I'm still alive. I sighed. I had so many questions. How long am I going to stay at potters site? How am I going to find them? Or are they going to find me? How should I act? Should I be polite or not? Should I ask many questions or be quiet all the time? And the important question: What am I going to do when they find out I lied? I can't say something like 'haha fooled' right? I ran my fingers through my hair. I remembered the day when I decided to turn away from Potter.

_"Hermione I've something to tell you!", Harry said and looked at me. "What is it?", I asked and smiled at him. "Well...", he looked down. "It's about your parents." "My parents?", I asked confused. "Did something happen?" "Yes, well uhm...we had to put a spell on them!" I stared at him, clearly in shock. "WHAT? Yo-ou put a spell on my parents! How, why, when and what for a spell?" "Obliviate...", he whispered. "You did not...TELL ME YOU DID NOT DO THAT!", I screamed at him. "I'm really sorry, I-i just wanted to protect them!" "They don't remember me", I hissed. "They don't even know I exist, all this years they have forgotten them..." "Hermione I'm really sorry bu-", he reached out to touch me. "Don't you dare!", I yelled. "Don't you dare and ever speak to me again. I'm done with you!" "Hermione wait!", he screamd after me, but I didn't stop running. My heart was broken. How could he do something like that to me?  
_

__**Author Note: I'm sorry it's short :/ Hope you like it!  
**


	2. You've your Hermione back!

_I can't give it up..._

"Today is the day, are you excited?", Bellatrix asked. I shook my head. "Not really..." Okay that was a lie. I was really excited to see Potter and Weasley and...Draco again. Suddenly she pointed her wand at me. "What are you doing?" "It must look like you're beaten and you owe us something.", she grinned. "You and your mudblood." I looked at her briefly shocked, but then nodded. "I understand. Do what you have to do!" "No need to tell me.", she said with an evil smile. "I'll do it anyway!" I nodded again. I closed my eyes and heard Bellatrix whisper the words. The pain went through my body. I fell on my knees and led out a scream.

"Harry there is someone! Someone on the grass, look!", I heard someone scream. Steps came closer. "It's a girl!" "Get her inside the house!" I noticed that I was lifted and carried inside the house. "Who is she?", Harry asked. I opened my eyes and looked directly into the eyes of Ron Weasley. "Oh my god it's Hermione!", he screamed. I sat up straight and grabbed my head. "Wh-where am I?", I asked, trying to sound confused. Suddenly everyone in the room had directed his wand at me. "Whoa whoa! Could you all please put your wands down?" "NO!", screamed Harry. "Harry don't scream at her like that!", hissed Ron. "You screamed at her first!" "Whatever..." "BOYS!" Ginny looked angry at them. "You two can argue later, we've a bigger problem right now!" She looked at me. "Ginny", I stared at her. "Come here and hug your old friend Hermione!" "Don't do what she says, she's lying!" "Oh shut up Ron, I can decide for myself." She looked at her Brother and then back to me. She walked slowly toward me. I tried to smile at her. She went on her knees and looked at me. "Ginny...", I reached my hand at her. She pulled me into a big hug. "I missed you Hermione!", she whispered. "I missed you too!"

"So...why are you here?" "I already said that one hundred times! I can't remember. I'm really" I had to swallow. "I'm really sorry!" "She said sorry, oh my god harry she said sorry!" "I heard what she said Ron!", Harry hissed. "Why are you covered with scars?" For the first time I looked at my body. "Oh my god!" On my left arm was in large print letters the word 'Mudblood' incised. "Oh my god!", I said again. I felt my eyes getting moist. That was worse than I had expected. "Ginny make that go away, please!" I could feel how they all stared at me. "Make it go away!" "Hermione", she put her hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry, but I can't!" I shook my head. "You should go and get some rest!" "I-i-i can't I...I can't stand up!" She looked at me confused. "Draco could you...?" "Of course, yes! Could you stand up? Just for a second so I can ehm...carry you!" I nodded. I stood up slowly and looked at him. He grabbed my Hand and pulled me on his back. He carried me piggy back into a room and then put me soft down on a bed. "Thanks." He smiled a bit. "No problem!"

"Somebody wake her up!" "And what if she's still asleep?" "Well that's the point of waking someone up!" "Oh shut it!" The door to my room opened. Draco stuck his head through the door slit. "Are you awake?" I grumbled something like 'leave me alone'. "You've to stand up, we have to discuss if we're going to kill you or not!" "DRACO!" "Sorry, just telling the truth!" He raised his hands. "I'm coming!" I stumbled over to Draco, right in Ron's arms. "Oh s-s-sorry!" He blushed. "No ehm I'm sorry!" I let go of his arms and walked into the living room. (Well it looked like the living room, but could be any room...) "Good morning ev-" Did we allowed you to speak? Granger!", Harry hissed. "No I ehm...I'm just gonna..." I pointed at the couch and sat down. "So", Harry turned to Ginny and Ron. "What are we going to do with her?" "I am for the option that she stays here!", said Ginny. "And I want to see her dead." "Oh really Ron? Really?" His glance wandered to the floor. "No..." "See?", Ginny turned around to Harry. "So she stays here?", Draco asked. Ginny nodded. "But what if she's only spying on us?", interjected Harry. "I don't know, we'll see then! Until then, welcome back Hermione!"

"I don't trust her!", I heard Harry whisper. "But you should. She was really close to cry when she saw the scars!" "That doesn't mean she's not faking!?" He looked at her doubtfully. She groaned annoyed. "You missed her, didn't you?" He sighed. "You know that I missed her very much, but I just don't think she's honest to us!" "Even if she's not, just be happy she's here. You've your Hermione back!" I had to smile a bit. If I hadn't decided to serve lord voldemort I would have been really happy. But I wasn't. I'm only happy, when the lord wants me to be happy. I looked over at Draco. How can he be so...nice?! He joked around, laughed, smiled and was simply happy. How could he?! Draco realized that I was looking at him and smiled at me. I looked quickly in another direction. (How embarrassing!)

"So what do you do the whole day?", I asked Draco. We sat on a large sofa, which Harry had made available for us. (Before that there were many boxes on it.) "I chase death eaters...someone like you!" "Oh yeah of course you do that..." I didn't really know what to say, because everything I say could be wrong. And I didn't want to look like an Idiot. "Good for you!" "What?", he asked confused. "That you erm chase death eaters and stuff!" He raised one eyebrow. "Okay...?" I stand up quickly and walked over to Ginny. "Can I ask you something?" " 'Course, is something wrong?" "No it's just that...my dark mark", I pointed at my arm "do you have long shirts so you can't see it?" She nodded. "Sure, I'll be back in a second!" She went upstairs. And there I was. Alone in a room where everyone hates me. "Good for me!", I grumbled.


End file.
